Tuesday, September 08, 2009

Corny humor in America

Dear bulk American bulk foods distributors
and industries associated with marketing it/them:

"I realize that you are overseeing a very lucrative
industry for the United States of America as we
eat just about anything with preservatives as
long as it was wrapped for the microwave to
heat through and takes no more than 60 seconds.

Almost inevitably playing a part in the use of our
country's corn, as both a food and as a versatile
product, should be serving you well at this point
with the world going "green" and all. How much
corn alcohol (cornholio) does our country have
stored at this point? An in-law in Nebraska
said, "With around 40% cornholio (see above)
in the fuel, the cars smell a lot like popcorn."
Along with decent fuel for internal combustion
engines, it has made great forks and spoons
for the camp site for years, material for yarn,
Toys, packing peanuts, and even laptops and
cell phones!

(let's not go there...)

Our corn does make many things that assist in a
more biodegradable way, lessen the cost for many things,
and lessens our vehicular carbon output in turn,
creating a rich market of revenue potential to
get each of you to retirement early.
So, please stop using it
for filler in our salsa, burritos, and "egg rolls",
and never, ever cream it!"

Thank you.

Your concerned consumer,
J.D. Plumma

1 opinionated prattle:

Stan said...

My sentiments exactly in regards to "creamed corn", who ever invented that garbage should be executed. I really think some farmer invented it after watching how his hogs enjoyed it when he mixed it up as pig slop. It had to have been a corn farmer.
Give me some Spam, on a bread of white, with a little mayo anytime. At least it has a variety of flavors.

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