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Dear Santa,
I have been a good boy this year. I’ve stopped resenting my coworkers, I don’t cut myself any more and I worked out a deal with the DA that keeps me out of jail as long as I quit bootlegging cigarettes.
My list is simple, so if you could find it in your heart to get me these things, I’m pretty sure your life’s journey will be heralded by angels on the wing, or whatever.
- 1) My own private submarine (How else am I going to get to…)
2) My own private island compound
3) A new hovercraft to race around my island
4) A live cougar to protect my island interests (and possibly genetically combine with resident humans)
5) An enormous bar of chocolate
6) A bottle of this next-to-impossible-to-obtain 1965 single malt Ben Wyvis to wash it all down.
7) & This gun.
Thank you Santa. Do me this solid and I will quit hunting you for the “Eggnog Ballet” I witnessed between you and my mom last year, you dirty old elf.
Yours,
JDplumma
3 opinionated prattle:
Wake Up Plumma, Wake up it is time to go shovel snow - only in your dreams could your list be filled by Santa, he is not open to be blackmailed despite what you may think you saw last year. Keeping this attempt in mind, I beleive you can look forward to a can of spam, car freshner, and possibly a new bic lighter. Try again next year and enujoy your $5.00 gift certificate.
I am Cupid... I like the yellow sub....but WHY would you buy an Island in Oregon... i mean if you have the money move me to the tropics.
I can't believe they sell cougars...I want one!! The chocolate looks gross after that kid man-handled it.... the beer never showed...but you scare me with those guns.
I am Comet, makes me feel better,no more questions than I answered I thought I would be Reindeer Poop.
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