Sunday, April 09, 2006

1. How do blind people know when they are done wiping?

2. Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren't going
as ghosts but as mattresses?

3. If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

4. Is there another word for synonym?

5. Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice?"

6. If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane
crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff?

7. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

8. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

9. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will
clean them?

10. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain
silent?

11. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?

12. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and
apes?

13. How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

14. What was the best thing before sliced bread?

15. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?

16. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

17. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

18. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it?

19. Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "asteroids"?

5 opinionated prattle:

Shana said...

I dont know the answeres but....

Why do they call "fast food", "fast food"...when you have to wait 20 minutes to get it...?

JD Plumma said...

You didn't take my "5-liner-post-bitchin' personal, did you? No post?!
Lord knows my opinion is worth evey bit of the paper I wrote it on....(Get it? No paper?)

Stan said...

It has always facinated me as to the locations of braile signage, like on hotel room doors, elevator doors, bathroom doors yet the placards in the seat pocket in front of you giving you instructions as to what you should do in the event of a crash - no braille sign. I have yet to see a stewardess (flight attendent to be polictcial correct) give instructions on how to put on your life vest by signing! Of course, inthe State of Alaska you can buy a "Blind Hunting and Fishing License" but it looks like any other license and I am not rteal sure I want to be inthe field knowing that someone is running around with a blind hunting license! After looking at the word verificvation that I have to de-code, why can't these letters be typical letters as you see here instead of letters where the j looks like a g of a I looks like a L? I find myself spell checking the letters more carefully that I do my posting. Maybe they should be in braile! As I expected, I missed one, now I havce to discipher a whole new set, this time in lower case and thar little "r" looks an awful like a "V", I will take a chance and call it a "r"

Shana said...

father there is an option for a "new word"...it took me 30 of them untill I saw one i was willing to attempt at this hour of the morning. "ugley" hehe...ooops should have typed that down below....gotta go down now....bye bye

JD Plumma said...

You could be right about "verification". Maybe - if the "machine" can make it at random - why can't a "machine" read it?(point to all the twisted lettering - not to frustrate our elders who grew up knowing a processor as a ship or cannery) I don't think they make walkers with word verification, yet, but you better get in practice!

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